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3:30 am and There is a Raccoon Intruder

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So, this is a picture of a raccoon standing on my handrail jumping to the door handle to open the door handle. At the bottom was his raccoon friend who held the door open for them both to make an entrance.

I heard a loud crash and instantly woke up. Peeked outside and our front door motion detector light was on. Great. Checked kids and everyone still sleeping. Heard another crash. Peeked outside light flicked off and back on. Something definitely out there. Just great. Turned on the lights on my way downstairs. Noise getting louder. Go downstairs and peek onto the porch, and I’m greeted by at least 7 raccoons. Seriously. Don’t they know I’m tired, real tired? I don’t want to deal with this!!

There were at least seven raccoons in total, and they were the ones who made the mess!
There were at least seven raccoons in total, and they were the ones who made the mess!
One raccoon leaving, the other checking out the place
One raccoon leaving, the other checking out the place

Our cats have been killing the cat food lately, like a bag in the course of a week or less. I had been keeping it in the barn but couldn’t afford that rate, so we’ve been carrying it out from the porch. Apparently one of the kids didn’t shut the door right.

So here I am 3 in the morning with a ton of raccoons on our porch. What is the logical thing to do here? I have no idea, so I did what any clueless person would do. I grabbed a broom and turned on the porch light. Cautiously use the broom to shoo out a few of the critters, hit the bag of food to make sure none were in the bag, and then finally grab the bag of food and pull it inside. Watched several more file out from a few hiding stops and then the outside ones come back in. Chased them out with the broom… again. Watch a while longer and don’t see any more then go back out and shut the door. Here’s to hoping I didn’t just lock some on the porch!

****I’m blaming this full mess on the raccoons. None of the mess, at all, came from my darling children. 

*** 4:21 update. Shutting the door was not enough, one was able to climb up and was ripping the screen on the top half of the door to get back in. 

*** 4:23 update. I probably should look harder at getting a dog.

*** Next day update. It was raccoons. They made the mess, not my kids. What world am I living in?

*** Next day update. So here is what happened. Thank you Ring doorbell camera. They climbed up on the handrail, and jumped on the door handle, opening the door. A second raccoon held the door from the bottom and kept it opened for everyone to get in. True story.

*** Three days later. We got a dog! Welcome to the family Leroy Ninker! She’s a girl dog with a boy’s name.

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Our fierce raccoon dog, Leroy Ninker.


That one time when RACCOONS learned to open my door and I woke up to SEVEN raccoons INSIDE my HOUSE

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