My ten-year-old daughter begs daily to be allowed to get Tik Tok. It is a video sharing platform that allows users to create and share short videos from mobile devices. She claims that all of her friends have it, and in fact, they do. I’ve talked to their moms and have seen their accounts. Both of her same age cousins use the platform. So what is the problem? Well, Tik Tok’s terms of use state that a user has an age recommendation of at least 13. My daughter isn’t thirteen, she’s ten.
Does the age recommendation even matter?
Honestly, I’m torn. I’m not as worried about what she will post. She is a bright, level-headed girl. I’m worried about everyone else. Seriously. John’s murder has me seriously jaded. He was doing absolutely nothing wrong and was killed. She could be doing absolutely nothing wrong and become the next statistic because of someone else’s actions. It’s scary.
It’s not that I don’t trust her, because I do, probably more than I should. But if something were to happen, she would have been doing something wrong… she’s ten, not thirteen. She’s young. Although she has had to grow up way too fast, her decision making is that of a ten-year-old. Clearly, not her fault, but it is a strong possibility that she wouldn’t be able to recognize the actions of a scammer.
Several safeguards in place
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We have Disney Circle (paid link), the internet filtering system. That is amazing! It allows me to filter what content is allowed in our home. It allows me to block the entire Tik Tok site on any device that comes into our home. Extreme? Probably. Necessary? Probably. Read more about how the Disney Circle device works for us here.
Disney Circle now has an updated version that is subscription-based. The version that I have is not discontinued. This is the new version (paid link).
I also don’t allow my kids to have their own devices… yet. Will it come? Probably. When? Who knows, I’m trying as hard as I can to prolong that purchase. We have an iPad that the kids share, filtered of course and with time limits. They don’t have my password to download apps. The app store is disabled, limiting their ability to create their own account. We also have yet to venture into video games… like at all. No Play Station, Nintendo, Wii, or whatever else has been released.
In my old life, I worked a lot with schools and their use of technology. There are soooooo many kids that are addicted. So many loopholes that smart kids can get around. No one can deny the enormous amount of content on the web that is just not what we want our kids to be seeing.
So back to my question. Do age recommendations for kids matter?
Honestly, I don’t know. They are there for a reason, probably to cover themselves in terms of liability. Common Sense Media really helps to look at each site and determine why exactly a book, video, app, website, game, or anything else is rated the way it is.
Am I being overprotective? Probably. Will she hate me for it forever? The verdict is still out. I feel like it is a slippery slope. If I say yes to Tik Tok, with an age requirement that is three years older than she is, am I obligated to say yes to whatever is next? No, but my argument is weaker, that is for sure.
The opportunity cost is super high
If my kids are inside (or outside) playing on their devices, what opportunities are they missing out on? They are missing the opportunity to interact with their siblings in meaningful ways. They aren’t climbing, running, jumping, or creating with their hands.
Kids won’t get bored if they have a device in their hands. The best ideas come when you are bored! Seriously, look at the wall for a while and when your mind begins to drift, that is when the magic happens. Add a device in your hands and you will never get there. Adults included. I’m guilty of this. I easily become engrossed in my phone or other device… except when I’m driving. That’s just dumb. Put the phone down. I believe there is a strong power in limiting and delaying free reign on technology for kids.
When they are home, they are home. The drama from school doesn’t follow them. They aren’t connected to a device, analyzing everything that happened that day. They get away from it, at least for a few priceless hours. Will they be excluded from some things? Probably. But is that a bad thing? I’m not sure.
What do you think?
Do I give in and let her on Tik Tok (or whatever else) before the recommended age? Or do I stick to my guns and make her wait? I cannot wait to hear what you have to say!
In the Blink of a Fly is led by Leah Fullenkamp. Leah is the mother of four young children. Their lives were tragically altered after a crash caused by distracted driving killed her husband and her children’s father. This website is the tale of them learning to live again and serves as a passion project to help prevent distracted driving and this tragedy from happening to someone else.
