Someone recently asked me why. Why I was putting our lives out there for others to see. Why I was sharing details about our lives before and after John was killed. Why?
In the Spring of 2019, I was driving down a main highway and passed a tractor going the opposite direction. Something that takes my breath away, still. The very next car was on their phone and not paying attention. I lost it. I was close to home, thankfully. Once home I sat in my driveway and listened for sirens. I felt so powerless and scared for that farmer. For his family, his wife, and his kids. When someone you love is brutally killed it is not sunshine and rainbows. People are incredibly kind but the hurt is still there, and it is awful. I could not just sit around and let this happen to someone else’s family.
That afternoon, I watched neighboring farmers in their fields working. Almost mourning planting season, the first that John had missed. I was searching on my phone and saw a picture of John with Henry on a tractor. I posted it to Facebook, on my personal page, and it was shared over 500 times. That was the day when I started to realize the power in our story.
John is gone, and the pain and hurt is raw and real and has reached every single aspect of my life. every. single. thing. My life barely resembles the one that I had planned, worked for and was living before he was killed. My life is forever altered. My kid’s lives are forever altered. Our families aren’t the same, nothing is. The opportunities and experiences that have been stolen from us is never-ending. Seriously, almost every day there is some surprise situation that I didn’t know what coming that we need to deal with. I cannot even begin to list all that has changed, lost and stolen from us. EVERYTHING was stolen from John. It was traumatic, it still is, it will never go away, ever. It wasn’t even because of a decision that any of us made.
I decided that I might, maybe have the ability to help someone gain the willpower to put their phone down when they are driving. You wouldn’t want to be the reason someone is killed. The reason kids are growing up without their father. The impact your decisions have on someone else. I want to show the ups and downs of life. The things that are wonderful, the things that are awful, and what it is like to have your world rocked.
Recently, someone messaged me that while they were driving their phone beeped. They thought of us and didn’t pick it up. They made the road much safer that day; if a bunch of somebodies do this, the world will be a much safer place. Don’t tear someone’s life apart–it can wait. Never believe you are a good enough driver to be able to do this, you’re not. No one is.
We are in this together. Put your phone down, be vocal about others putting their phones down. We have the power to stop this incredibly preventable epidemic.
