People often asked what helped. What helped when John died and your world came crashing apart? There were a ton of thoughtful things that people did that really made a huge difference, but today I’m going to focus on one, greeting cards. Seriously, this helped soooo much and many days getting the mail was easily the highlight of my day.
Sending a greeting card in the mail, especially when it was unexpected made (and still makes) my day. I have saved every single card and often read them when I’m having a particularly rough day. I’m not particularly good at replying to letters when they give a phone number. Mostly because people don’t usually like 2 am phone calls.
My challenge to you
My challenge to you is to send a greeting card in the mail this month. Better yet, do it today!! Like right now. If you are feeling ambitious, send one a day or once a week. They make a difference. You don’t have to write a novel on the card, a few words or sentences will do. Just let that person know you are thinking of them. You can even spread the love by leaving a post-it on someone’s door or desk.
Possible recipients
Don’t know who to send a greeting card to? Here are some ideas
- Family- aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandparents, parents
- Anyone who has recently had a baby or recently found out they were expecting
- Anyone who has ever lost a baby
- Someone with a birthday
- Anyone who has recently experienced the death of someone near to them (Emily McDowell has some of my favorite empathy cards- not sponsored… she’s just that good and real! She skips the pleasantries and says what you are really thinking)
- A new widow
- Kids who are grieving
- A person you admire from afar
- Anyone in the hospital
- A person in a nursing home
- Someone without any family
- Someone whose kids have flown the nest
- Anyone whose kids are struggling… their parents probably are too
- Someone who has been recently divorced
- Anyone who does a great job at something
- Someone who does something unexpected or even generally unnoticed
- A current or former coach or teacher
- An old friend
- A new friend
- Someone you want to be your friend… but not in a stalker kinda way!
- A new business owner
- A person caring for an aging parent or spouse
- A typically generous person
- The person who sends you cards
- Your priest, pastor or other religious leader
- Someone who isn’t in contact with their family because of circumstances outside of their control
- A single parent
- Someone that you imagine doesn’t get much mail
- Anyone who has ever done something nice for you that had a lasting impact
- Nurses, they are often an unsung hero
- Someone who needs a thank you
- Anyone with a difficult anniversary approaching
- Anyone fighting a disease or their parents or children
- Military members
Planning ahead
I had a friend, from high school, that honestly, I really didn’t know that well at all. When John’s obituary was published, she marked all of our important dates in her calendar. His birthday, our anniversary, the anniversary of his death and then she reached out on those days. She sent messages via Facebook, but the sentiment is the same.
There were a few fellow widows that sent several greeting cards throughout the first year. This was great! The cards were simple and didn’t say much but it was clear that I was on their mind. If someone is struggling with something that you have been through, send them a card and let them know you are thinking about them. The effort will not be forgotten, promise.
You can even preplan to send a certain number of cards to a person during the year. Get the cards lined up and aim to mail them sporadically. I would shy away from doing the first of the month or another regular time because when they stop it will be noticed immediately. Although, that first year, each day seemed like an eternity so maybe if it wasn’t pointed out, I wouldn’t have noticed. But it’s better to aim to send one throughout the month.
Send anything really…
And, honestly, it doesn’t even need to be a greeting card, a message on a piece of paper will do to. Or an index card, or your kids drawing, or your drawing. Just send the love. Seriously. Sent someone mail. The art of this is seriously dying. This is so much better than a text message. It seems real. So thoughtful and a little old fashioned. It is the best. If you haven’t gotten a card lately, think about how special it would make you feel. It would be like the office secret Santa without the expectation.
Many of the most heartfelt meaningful cards that I received came from people who I barely knew. People from our community. Someone who has gone through a similar situation. Even just people who have our story and want to offer their sympathies.
Add a personal touch if you can
Wishing you a memorable birthday
Welcome to the “terrible 2’s”
Great Grandpa and Grandma
(In the slowpoke 80’s)
My Grandma is the best at this. My daughter’s birthday is 3-6-9, and they jokingly refer to her as that. When they send a birthday card, it will say to 3-6-9 from 11-11-31. 🙂 I love it! When my youngest turned two, she mentioned entering the terrible twos and signed the card from Great Grandpa and Grandma in their slowpoke 80’s. I love the extra touch!
Just send it…
You don’t have to wait until you find the perfect card or the perfect message. The gesture is perfect. Today is the day, don’t wait. Let me know in the comments who you send your card too.
In the Blink of a Fly is led by Leah Fullenkamp. Leah is the mother of four young children. Their lives were tragically altered after a crash caused by distracted driving killed her husband and her children’s father. This website is the tale of them learning to live again and serves as a passion project to help prevent distracted driving and this tragedy from happening to someone else.
