In the Blink of a Fly was born out of tragedy. The loss of my husband and my children’s father has impacted every moment of our lives moving forward, he was the victim of a distracted driver, A driver who was looking at her phone instead of the road, killed him while he was driving a tractor. I would not wish this upon anyone, ever, and because of this, In the Blink of a Fly, strives to create awareness of how quickly a crash can occur; to give resources to youth and adults on how important it is to keep their eyes up and their phone down and out of reach. You can be living an entirely different life… In the Blink of a Fly.
The Blog
Explore our families past, present, and future. Our struggles, triumphs, and adventures.
Our Story
Our Beginning
They say the best place to start a story is at the beginning, and this is how I will start this one. John and I met when I was only 15 years old. We were inseparable from the beginning, although attended neighboring high schools and colleges, we were never far apart. John became a Controls Engineer at a local company and helped to farm with his parents. I was an elementary teacher, serving as a preschool, reading, and third-grade teacher, as well as a technology coach and librarian.
After six years of dating, we were married in the church that I attended growing up. We bought our first home and remodeled every single wall, floor, lighting fixture, and piece of trim. It was a labor of love for sure. Almost as soon as we finished, we were given the opportunity to purchase a home extremely close to the family farm and we jumped on it! The timing wasn’t quite right, I went into labor with our oldest just a few hours after signing papers to purchase! Our new home required so much love and attention to bring it up to date, we lived on the formerly enclosed porch (with a newborn) for months! I hope to never have to do that again!
Our Growing Family
Our new house quickly became our home, but it wasn’t a smooth ride. It was built in the late 1800s to early 1900s, we can’t quite find a date, and had only been lived in by the original family who built it. We had extremely old electricity, an outhouse (it did have indoor plumbing as well), floors and carpets that STUNK to high heavens, and seven outside buildings that were ready to fall down, our work was cut out for us! The thing with us, (John especially), was his can-do attitude. He hired out almost nothing. Things took longer, a lot longer but we got them done and did them together.
During this time, John continued to farm, and eventually, we purchased my family’s farm when my Dad passed away. John had finally reached his dream of owning a farm! Our family quickly grew! Before we knew we had four children; Eliza, Henry, Molly, and Greta. The moments turned to days, and days to weeks and months. As John always said, we were living the dream!
The kids LOVED helping us with house and farm projects, they were given many tractor rides. I will never forget the days when John came home from work and the moment he stepped inside the kids came barreling towards him to get a hug. We often talked about how these were the days that we would grow to miss, the pitter-patter of little footsteps, loose teeth, and constant messes. I always thought that we would miss these days because our kids would grow and leave us behind. Never did I dream it would be because John would be murdered by a distracted driver.
Our Family in Crisis
Life got hard. Really hard. Instantly.
Within the span of a little over 24-hours, I had major foot surgery and John was killed. I lost my husband, my partner, the father of my children; not to mention my ability to walk. I was a widow with extremely little kids, they were only 3, 6, 9, and 8 months.
Everything changed. EVERYTHING. It was horrible. Most people were so, so good; but our loss… HUGE.
I returned to school in the fall, and honestly, things didn’t go well. I worked with students will special needs during the day and came home to kids that needed me every second of the night. My youngest, who was still under a year, wasn’t sleeping throughout the night. The older three struggled to fall asleep at bedtime; John had always handled bedtime and this was when his absence was felt the greatest. I was going through the motions, but no one was okay.
I took an FMLA leave shortly after Christmas for a full 12 weeks. Things got a little better with each week but once my 12 weeks were over, we spiraled straight back into chaos. Over the summer, I made the gut-wrenching decision to leave my teaching career. My children being okay was more important to me. I knew that if they didn’t begin to heal these massive, deep wounds things would never be better. I tell you what, it was scary. We went from two-full time incomes to none. But the kids (and me) had to be okay.
Our Fly Guy
Throughout this time, we would often have a single fly come to visit us. Not every day. But often enough for us to take notice.
It wasn’t a normal fly. It was a fly that could be handed from person to person. It would show up on hard days. Fun days. Sad days. It became a symbol of strength for us.
A fly could survive and often thrive in the “shittiest” of situations, and that is where we found ourselves.
In the Blink of a Fly is born
In preparation for taking the school year off, I knew I had to have something to occupy my mind. Something to prevent me from being stuck in the darkness. To help prevent this, I started a Facebook page, In the Blink of a Fly. It was a way for me to share my struggles and successes, and prevent this from happening to someone else. How I was tackling a widow and a single parent– how we tackled milestones, quarantine, big decisions, little decisions, and raccoons breaking into our home. I could speak out about the dangers and the real costs of distracted driving.
In the Fall of 2019, I received a phone call from our local sheriff’s department. They had been approached by a school district wanting someone to talk about distracted driving and they reached out to me. It was scary but the response was amazing. Now, I often speak to students, adults, organizations, and businesses to help prevent crashes. We have static cling flies available for distribution in dozens of businesses, educate people on how to keep their phones down by using do not disturb mode, and have partnered with our local Farm Bureau for a Share the Road Campaign.
Please join us on our journey and always remember that life really can change, In the Blink of a Fly.
The Blog
Explore our families past, present, and future. Our struggles, triumphs, and adventures.
